Less than a month

It has been less than a month since my last post and our world has grown anew. Spring has refreshed our lives and rejuvenated my emotions. OK, well, I guess I should say, some great moments have happened to give me hope that we will all grow to enjoy each others company.

Decker recently had his Spring Concert for school and during the song "Skidamerink", Decker would point to me whenever they sang, "I love you!" And I have it on video, so I can go back to that after one of our fights and remind myself that when he isn't PO'd at me, he does harbor some love for me. Tonight Decker wrote Hannelore a little note that said, "I Love you" on it.

OK, this was good. So, Decker kicked Hannelore in the head. Instead of screaming at him (my first reaction), I listened and found out it was an accident and he was really working hard to get away from her instead of hurting her. So, I acknowledged that and let him know that he was working hard to solve their problems, and hopefully helping him feel proud that he was controlling himself.

Aw, how quickly moods change, lives change, and feelings change. We always say, "oh, it is just a stage, they will outgrow it." When really everything is a stage and it will change in a few minutes. Whether and how often it changes back is what you have to look out for :D

What day is it? What Year?

Wow! It has been a REALLY long time since I last posted!

As of late, I have been mulling over the idea that my son really and truly hates me. I mean he says it a few times a day, we have discussed it and I try to talk about other ways of expressing yourself. But what if he really does mean it? What if he really can't stand to be around me? What then? Where do you go in a relationship after that? He can't brake up with me, he can't just announce that he is leaving and going to live with the neighbor (though he has thought through a few of these options in times of anger). So, today as I was mowing the lawn, I came to terms with this possibility and decided that it is just the way it is, and I can still enjoy him, selfishly. I mean who is stopping me? Only me and my petty desire to be liked!

Well, no more, I say! I will watch him, hug him, kiss him, and tell him I love him, even AND especially when he is mad at me. I will still distance myself from the physical damage, but otherwise, he will just have to deal with being loved by someone he can't stand. Knowing how handsome, intelligent, and extremely picky he is, I am sure this will be the first of many times.

Good Night, I am off to snuggle with me kids!

Too Long

OK, so it has been WAY too long since I last posted! We just finished the holiday season and the kids are still in awe of their new toys. Hannelore got a Mr. Potatoe head that she LOVES (yes, my gift ;D) and Decker loves the body 4D puzzles he got (he picked those out of a magazine).

The kids also got to spend 2 nights with Gaga and Dupaw at a hotel. I really enjoyed the sleep and the time with my husband. The second morning that I woke up without them, I was SUPER sad and really missing them. They both had a blast and I look forward to the pictures of their time away. G and D say that Hannelore even slept through the night on the second night! And, yes, I have been thinking about the next time to have that break. :D