Birthday and Mother's Day

I have just turned 30 years old, registered my eldest for kindergarten, and had a very fruitful mother's day. Things have been going pretty well for us lately. I am in bootcamp from 6am to 640am thanks to my husband (as my 30th birthday present), so I get to start the day off with a workout OUTSIDE with NO kids. . . and I have been able to get Decker to the car without a fight, just a little refusal. Jay and I are connecting more often and not just talking about the kids when we see each other.

But I still worry about what will happen for Decker in school. Is the teacher going to be able to keep him interested? Is he going to make friends? Is he going to get kicked out of school for fighting? What will life be like when Decker is gone 6 hours a day 5 days a week? I just hope he has a good time and WANTS to go to school everyday.

Hannelore is growing a lot. I thought she was going to potty learn a few months ago, but she has set that aside and is concentrating on imitating who she will be as an adult (it is more "girly" than I am, so I think she is making a lot of it up as she goes).

These are calm times, and I am trying to settle into them with grace. . . any change is hard, even the good kind.

Crazziness Continues

Ok, so we went for a playdate today, discussed how we were going to play, and everything was going well. . . Until!. . . duh duh duh. . . I have no idea what happened. It just turned! Decker went from playing to hitting in no time flat, and not even listening to my friend when she asked him not to do things! Usually he will at least fear other adults. . . no, not even a blink of concern for them or their house.

I don't know what to do!

Man, this blog has so changed from its original intent! I don't think I have posted at all about their growth or even tried to sell anything. . . but I am getting out all the craziness I suppose. . .

Anyway, I have noticed a switch that turns and then after he gets a minute to calm down and there is nothing else to fight against, he is fine. But how do you get him to that point? He scratched my hands, my face, bit me, and kicked me in the head. All for no apparent reason. I was holding him to try and talk to him about what was happening and figure out why he was hitting our friends, and he couldn't calm down enough to talk, he just kept attacking! I love him and I want him to be able to have friends and function and prosper. At this point, I don't know if that is going to happen (I guess no one does with their preschooler).

Here's hoping for a way out of this insanity and into something more managable!

What a Month!

Ok, so it has been more than a month since my last post. We are doing so much around here that I am rarely on the internet these days. Hannelore doesn't like me on the computer during the day (can't blame her, I do tend to zone out on it) and I am training in the evenings when she is asleep. Well, lately Jay and I have worked out a schedule where I can get my workouts in before bedtime and now I get to play a little more.

Decker is totally addicted to listening to his Magic Tree House CD's. I am serious, he spends most days in his room listening to these stories over and over again, and only peeks his head out to make sure we are around and maybe get some nurishment. Hannelore is talking up a storm and putting small sentences together (2-3 words, one a verb. . . hey, its a sentence :D ). And both kids are fighting for mommy time, but only when the other one is interested. It is so funny how they will be playing and talking and making messes, then one decides to get in my lap and the other HAS to be there, and sharing mommy's lap is SO not an option.

Let's see what else, we still struggle A LOT with Decker and his demanding and hitting and not wanting to go anywhere (this has become worse because of the cd's, he NEVER wants to stop listening to them, not for the library, or friends, or even a waterpark). I am working on getting some help with this from outside the home and we hope this will work before we all go insane from being stuck in the house all the time. Winters are especially hard for this family. I fear that we will have to move because of the craziness that happens 6-7 months out of the year without the regular outside time. But for now we are all taking lots of vitamins (D and Omega-3) and trying to get out and play (dragging Decker kicking and screaming, until he is in the car, then he is fine).

We had talked about a February vacation, then we realized we couldn't afford one. Next year it will be our only trip, no Texas visits until 2011. . . sorry guys, you will have to come visit us, because we need to get out and have a real family vacation February 2010! Until then we will have to work on getting out of the house and making real plans for each day and make sure Jay is out doing something at all times (he gets the most stur crazy of us all) and hope that it will be warm enough to play in the back yard again soon. Today it was all of 10 degrees farenheit while I ran a race and it got up to 20. It really needs to be about 30 to get out and play . . . we are still whimpy that way.

Confusion

OK, it has been too long since I last posted. I have been updating our Tumblon site, but that isn't quite the same. It has been a crazy week and a half since we got back from our 12 day journey to the south. We went to Dallas, then Austin, then back to Dallas for Christmas and chaos. It was nice to be in the warm weather, get to see so many friends and family members, and get to work out almost everyday. But I think 12 days is a long time to be so far from home.

We got to see friends from Jay's first "real" job in Austin (DMi), and it was neat to see that the ones with kids, have the same philosophy in parenting as we do and have that instant connection or reconnection. Then a friend Jay has known since college (and I have known since I met Jay) also have very similar parenting style. . . it was great! I felt like I was justified and "cool" for being an API mom. And we actually got compliments on how we parented. . . and how smart our kids are. It isn't necessary, but it is nice to have that response.

What is the Deal?

OK, my son makes it his mission to annoy everyone, why? He laughs when we get angry or annoyed and ignores us when we try to play games that are fun for everyone. Oh! And don't try to suggest NOT hurting, tapping, pushing, or otherwise annoying someone, especially his sister. That only leads to being spit on or having object thrown at you. . . What do you do in this situation? saying I don't like it, just gets a laugh (which is infuriating), or a hit. Suggesting something else to do gets the same reaction.

1% of the time (I am NOT exaggerating for effect here) it is a complete delight to be with my son! I would enjoy nothing more than those moments, but why are they so far and few between?

My new mantra is "There is no perfect parent, there is only good enough." This was taught to me by a book about how to raise gifted kids. . . yes, I do believe my kids are gifted. My 1 year old is learning her numbers, already knows all the face parts in English and German, and loves puzzles (we do not have a curriculum, I just talk to my kids through out the day). My 4 year old can figure out that the author of a book changed a word to make it rhyme, and he can "read" words that I verbally spell. . . thus, I believe my children are gifted.

Therefore I can not attempt perfection, as is my tendency. . . I must find zen in my parenting. First step: Stop Looking, Second Step: Breath, etc. . .

Now to the library :)

Evil Mom Confessions

Ok, so Halloween, candy, new videos, bad weather, no race to train for. . . new school schedule, holidays coming up, slacking on the workouts. . . I have become a grumpy mommy.

Man, I hate being a grumpy mom. I don't want it to bother me when Decker pulls my hair or Hannelore does back flips while nursing. I don' t want to yell or OVER react to not eating or asking for another video or refusing to help around the house.

I need a calm mom chant or activity to create calm in me that is productive. . . pro active and gets results.
It is a good thing kids are forgiving, or they would have dumped me for a better mom long ago.

On the other hand, I did finally get some pictures of the kids and videos, so soon there will be more loveliness than you can imagine. OK, I am going to go work out and see if I can level myself.